Brand New Baby Day

“Youth is not a time of life-it is a state of mind. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” - Ernest Holmes (Living the Science of Mind, p. 177)

In my meditation this morning between the activity of each inhale and exhale I allowed my focus to land on the activity of last night’s opening ceremony of the Sacred Journey of Childlike Wonder. I am in Kauaʻi for the sixth time to experience the annual Sacred Journey hosted by the Center for Spiritual Living Kauaʻi. I have been to each Sacred Journey offered since the founding of CSL Kauaʻi by my peers, Revs. Rita Andriello and Patrick Feren. I live in gratitude that I am able to have this yearly experience of being “ministered to.”

The opening ceremony this year is the one that I have resonated with most deeply. I don’t want to explain the details of what happened, because that feels like something I want to keep to myself and the journey participants. What I can say is this, my eyes were opened. The activity allowed for an experience of inner consideration. I let myself off the hook for the unfinished business I left behind… the “shoulds” and the “have tos.” The things I “should” do and believe I “have to” do are the very things that draw me away from the ideals I embodied when I was younger.

This journey is perfect for me at this time. For decades I have lived in a reserved fashion that doesn’t feel like the me of my youth, and I have missed that me. I have tied up the loss of that me in the coming out process. When I came out, and this may seem opposite what many would expect, I think I became a sadder person. Less enthusiastic, less effervescent.

This week I am challenging myself to return to that enthusiasm. To overflow with enthusiasm for life.

The challenge I anticipate in this decision is only rooted in fear. I am in a safe place to explore and so I look forward to what this brand new baby day brings!

Today’s practice: Actively deepen in acute awareness of the thoughts between each breath.