Growing Up (Again)

“Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed nonage. Nonage is the inability to use one's own understanding without another's guidance.”
-Immanuel Kant

I have been on a particular journey of pressing against the establishment for more than a year. I have been pressing the boundaries of what is considered acceptable among some of my peers. I am a firm believer that as long as we remain in our safe zone, wrapped in comfort, we do not expand our sensibilities which lead to growth. For many years, at the beginning of my journey in ministry, I was an adherent to the dictates set forth by the greater governing organization. I say this with tongue slightly in cheek because I think I was viewed as rebellious.

I was less a rabble rouser then than I am now. In reflecting on that I wonder to myself, “What changed?” While I think I know an answer, I am reminded that the only thing that can change for me is my own mind, and it’s relationship to all life’s circumstances.

Here is what changed for me. I didn’t want to be a conformist to an organization in a philosophy that teaches “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” (that’s attributable to Ralph Waldo Emerson, by the way). So my answer was to choose to not align with the organization. That’s a scary proposition because I hang out there on my own now. I don’t have even the perception of a safety net into which I can fall. It’s an absolute experience of faith.

What is the result? Well, there were grumblings in the organization. Did those have any effect on me? I can only be honest in saying, yes, for a little while. I honor and respect the members of the organization, so I took the grumblings a little personally. I have since moved away from that. The more important result, though, is the freedom I have found in non-conformity. And that is the lesson… right?

Well, the challenge for me now is to ponder this question: Is this just my ego, or have I stepped even a little bit into enlightenment? I don’t think I have an answer right now, but it definitely seems to be the next part of my spiritual evolution. If I am able to use my own understanding without another’s guidance, then I am enlightened (according to Kant). But am I?

So I cycle back… what are the ways in which I am still in my nonage? I am starting to realize that this may be a soul-journey that lasts beyond one life experience.

What does any of this have to do with spiritual practice, you may be asking? Well, if I am to be a beacon of illumination for others, which is what I believe my purpose and path to be in this life, then my struggles with the big questions must be available for all to see. I chose to live my life out loud. If I am in a place that requires deeper work, I express it openly. As a community we all constantly learn from each other. If I am on this journey, and you are experiencing this, then we’ve attracted each other into each other’s spheres for the purpose of co-awakening. I don’t think that is ego talking.

We are unfolding on a path of enlightenment together. Let’s commit today to rely less on the dictates set forth by others and begin to delve more deeply into our own individualization of the Infinite Mind.

The journey excites me deeply. I think that’s I why I stay on it. I could easily move to something “easier” (like returning to a profession in the performing arts) but I think there would always be a little part of me that went unfulfilled.

Today I choose the path of enlightenment, to have my cup filled, and to move beyond spiritual nonage into a greater spiritual maturity than I have ever experienced before.

Wanna come?